T-MAP - Getting to Know Your Self & Parts

This text is an archive

This text comes from the Google Doc of T-MAPS, you can find them all on their website.

Purpose of this map

To help you begin a personal practice of noticing your internal parts, accessing Self-energy, and understanding what helps you feel alive, grounded, and connected.

This map is inspired by Internal Family Systems (IFS) and systemic thinking. It introduces the idea that we each have multiple “parts” inside us—different voices, needs, and roles we play to survive and stay safe. And we also have a core Self—calm, curious, compassionate—that can gently lead us through chaos and confusion.

A T-MAP for discovering how to have a conversation with yourself.

Welcome

This is a simple tool to help you get curious about your inner world. It’s inspired by Transformative Mutual Aid Practices (T-MAPs) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), but you don’t need to know anything about those models to use it.

To begin, find a little time, a quiet place (if possible), and a willingness to explore. There’s no right or wrong way to do this.

We recommend grabbing a separate piece of paper, a notebook, or opening a blank document or note on your device—somewhere you can respond freely to each reflection as it comes. Writing things down helps make the invisible visible.

Start Here: Self-Energy

Take a deep breath.

Let yourself land in this moment.

If there are grounding or centering practices that work for you, you might consider practicing those before exploring your T-MAP making.

Read the question below slowly, and write, draw or express creatively (in any way that feels right to you) whatever comes to you. It can be words, images, memories, or just a feeling.

• How do I feel when I’m most alive?
• What am I doing?
• Who (or what) is around me?
• What sensations do I feel in my body?
• What qualities show up in me?

These feelings are clues. They point toward what we call Self — the part of you that is grounded, wise, and present. You can return to this feeling.

Example responses:

How do I feel when I’m most alive?

1. Like time slows down and I’m exactly where I need to be.
2. Full of energy, like my body and spirit are moving in sync.
3. Calm but powerful, like something true is flowing through me.
4. Grateful to be alive—like I’m connected to something bigger.
5. Light, expansive, and fully here, not stuck in my head.

What am I doing?

1. Walking in nature, especially when the light is changing.
2. Laughing and talking deeply with someone I trust.
3. Writing, drawing, or creating something from my heart.
4. Helping someone in a way that feels mutual and real.
5. Dancing, cooking, or moving my body with rhythm and joy.

Who (or what) is around me?

1. A friend who truly gets me, even in silence.
2. A community space where people are honest and weird.
3. My dog curled up near me, breathing slow and steady.
4. Trees, sky, birds—something bigger that reminds me I belong.
5. A song or book that puts words to what I’m feeling.

What sensations do I feel in my body?

1. A soft warmth in my chest, like an open window.
2. A grounded feeling in my feet, steady and clear.
3. Buzzing energy in my hands, ready to create or connect.
4. A relaxed jaw and smooth breath, like nothing is stuck.
5. Goosebumps or tingling down my spine—like something sacred is near.

What qualities show up in me?

1. Curiosity—I want to listen, explore, and learn.
2. Compassion—for myself, for others, for the mess of life.
3. Focus—I can follow through without forcing it.
4. Joy—a quiet kind, that doesn’t need to perform.
5. Courage—to show up as I am, not just who I think I should be.

Hold This Moment

Take a moment to feel what you just uncovered.

This aliveness, this sense of clarity or connection—it’s not something you have to chase. It lives inside you.

Let it settle in your body. Let it remind you of what’s possible.

Now, from this grounded place, we can begin to explore the other voices inside us—especially the ones that show up when things get hard. We’re not trying to change them or push them away. Just get to know them. With compassion. With curiosity. With the same kind of presence you just brought to your Self.

Let’s meet a part.

Meet a Part

Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed. We get anxious, angry, numb, stuck. These are not bad things. These are signals. Often, they’re coming from parts of us that are trying to help or protect us.

You don’t have to get rid of these parts, you just have to get to know them. With curiosity, not judgment.

Choose one part to focus on.

What part of me shows up when I’m stressed or overwhelmed?

• What does this part say?
• How does it behave?
• What does it want for me?
• Can I thank it for trying to help?

Examples of Parts:

• 🌀 The Perfectionist
• 🔥 The Angry Defender
• 🌪️ The Numb One
• 😟 The Anxious Planner
• 🧼 The People-Pleaser
• 😶 The Numb/Disengaged Part
• 🤯 The Perfectionist/Overachiever Part
• 🧱 The Guarded/Hard To Trust Part

Meet a Part

Here are eight detailed examples of parts that might show up when someone is stressed or overwhelmed, with answers to each of the guiding questions. These can help illustrate the range of inner experiences people might have—and model how to explore them with curiosity and compassion.

🌀 Part #1: The Perfectionist

• What part of me shows up? The part that needs everything to be just right. What does this part say? “If you don’t do this perfectly, you’ll fail, and everyone will know you’re not good enough.”
• How does it behave? It tightens my chest, makes me redo things over and over, keeps me working late.
• What does it want for me? To succeed, be accepted, and avoid shame or criticism.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It’s working so hard to protect me, even if it sometimes wears me down.

🔥 Part #2: The Angry Defender

• What part of me shows up? The one that gets mad fast and wants to lash out.
• What does this part say? “They don’t respect you. You have to show them who’s in charge.”
• How does it behave? Raises my voice, clenches my fists, imagines arguments.
• What does it want for me? To feel safe and not be pushed around or ignored.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It learned to protect me in hard situations, even if its methods aren’t always helpful now.

🌪️ Part #3: The Numb One

• What part of me shows up? The part that shuts down and disappears.
• What does this part say? “It’s too much. Just don’t feel anything.”
• How does it behave? Goes silent, avoids people, stares at screens, feels disconnected.
• What does it want for me? To not feel pain or overwhelm. To survive.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It’s trying to keep me safe in the only way it knows how.

😟 Part #4: The Anxious Planner

• What part of me shows up? The part that obsesses over worst-case scenarios.
• What does this part say? “What if this goes wrong? What if they don’t like you? You need to be ready.”
• How does it behave? Overthinks, makes long to-do lists, has trouble sleeping.
• What does it want for me? To be prepared, avoid mistakes, and stay in control.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It’s trying to keep me safe, even if it makes me feel tense.

🧼 Part #5: The People-Pleaser

• What part of me shows up? The part that always says yes, even when I’m exhausted.
• What does this part say? “If you don’t make them happy, they’ll leave or be disappointed in you.”
• How does it behave? Smiles when I’m hurting, says “I’m fine,” takes on too much.
• What does it want for me? To be loved and not rejected.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It’s been helping me survive in relationships for a long time.

😶 Part #6: The Numb/Disengaged Part

• What part of me shows up? The part that checks out, goes blank, or just doesn’t care anymore.
• What does this part say? “It’s too much. I can’t deal. Just go through the motions.”
• How does it behave? Zoning out, avoiding responsibilities, losing track of time, watching TV or scrolling for hours.
• What does it want for me? To rest. To escape the overwhelm. To survive another day.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It’s been carrying a lot and doing its best to keep me from collapsing.

🤯 Part #7: The Perfectionist/Overachiever Part

• What part of me shows up? The part that thinks I have to be exceptional to be okay—or to be loved.
• What does this part say? “Keep going. Do more. Don’t mess up. Don’t let them see you struggle.”
• How does it behave? Pushes through exhaustion, self-criticizes constantly, fears failure, avoids rest.
• What does it want for me? To succeed. To be safe from judgment. To feel like I matter.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It learned these strategies for a reason—and it wants the best for me, even if it’s exhausted.

🧱 Part #8: The Guarded/Hard-to-Trust Part

• What part of me shows up? The part that doesn’t trust anyone—not friends, not movements, not even myself sometimes.
• What does this part say? “Don’t get too close. They’ll hurt you. Don’t open up.”
• How does it behave? Withholds feelings, avoids vulnerability, assumes betrayal is coming.
• What does it want for me? Protection. Safety. To avoid repeating old wounds.
• Can I thank it for trying to help? Yes. It’s working hard to keep my heart from breaking again.

A Dialogue

Imagine your calm, curious Self is having a gentle conversation with this part.

If I could speak for this part, not from it, what would I say?

This is a practice of unblending—of noticing that you are more than any one feeling, thought, or story.

Ask yourself

If I could speak for this part, not from it, what would I say?

Maybe it sounds like:

• “A part of me feels terrified right now—it’s worried I’ll fail again.”

or

• “A part of me wants to shut everyone out because it’s scared of getting hurt.”

This is a practice of unblending of noticing that you are more than any one feeling, thought, or story.

• ✨ When you speak for a part, you create space for compassion.
• ✨ When you listen from Self, you build trust.

Small Daily Practice

When you notice a strong emotion or reaction, try asking:

“Is this a part of me? What might it need right now?”

And then ask:

“Can I bring a little bit of calm or curiosity to this part?”

You don’t have to fix anything. Just notice. Just listen.

That’s a beautiful and accessible invitation already. To gently deepen it—especially for folks trying to build this into a regular rhythm—you might add a couple more prompts or a supportive suggestion to help anchor the practice in daily life.

A Lightly Expanded Version of a Small Daily Practice

When you notice a strong emotion or reaction, try asking:

• “Is this a part of me?”
• “What might it need right now?”

And then ask:

• “Can I bring a little bit of calm or curiosity to this part?”

You don’t have to fix anything. Just notice. Just listen.

Even a few seconds of compassionate attention can make a difference.

You might also try:

• Placing a hand on your heart or belly while you check in.
• Giving your part a gentle name or image (like “the anxious planner” or “the lonely protector”).
• Thanking the part for doing its job—even if it’s exhausting.

The goal isn’t to be perfect.

It’s to build a relationship—with yourself, day by day.

Final Reflection

What do I want to remember from this practice today?

Write down a sentence, image, or phrase that feels true. You can come back to it when things feel hard.

You Are a System

You contain multitudes. You are not broken. You are made of many parts, each with a story, relationships with each other, and a Self that can hold them all with compassion.

This is just the beginning. Keep mapping!